As uncomfortable as it is for me, I must confess that I have been put in a sexual situation with my brother. My younger sister, involved as well. I remember the two going into the kitchen to get soda and I saw that as an opportunity to masturbate in the living room as quick as possible. It was innocent, I didn't want them to be involved, I just had a strong libido that day and there was no place else. We lived in a one bedroom apartment and my siblings and I had the living room.
Unfortunately, they caught me and we all almost had sex. However, eventually we felt uncomfortable about it and put on all of our clothes.
I've learned to block that day out of my head, but still sometimes I go through memory lane... and when I do think about it, I feel embarrassed. I've seen my brother's body parts. To this day, it doesn't sit well with me, my tummy knots up and I feel like gagging.
Therefore, throughout my life I have classified it as disgusting. So gross that if anyone was ever thinking about doing it, he/she would be classified as "sick."
However, the topic has attacked me suddenly. Late at night while I was surfing the web one day, I saw a forum that was talking about incest, particularly between a brother and a sister. A brother explained a huge sexual attraction he had towards his sister and justified incest. I was absolutely outraged. I scrolled down to look at the comments and was even more outraged than before.
Other people were justifying it as well and explaining their love towards their siblings. It was uncomfortable reading it. In fact, it's uncomfortable typing this up right now.
According to a recent study, we all most likely know someone who has had sexual interactions with a sibling. However, it also says that there is no doubt, absolutely no doubt that we all know someone who has thought about it.
A very provocative question: is incest wrong?
It's especially provocative for people who aren't remotely religious at all, like myself.
This article isn't meant to offend anyone, so please excuse my honesty and proceed if you'd like.
So is incest wrong? Really... is it actually wrong?
It's definitely taboo, but is it wrong?
If the sex is consensual and nobody is being pressured to do so. If they are similar in age or legal. If they aren't hurting anybody else... Then, I guess that technically... It is not.
The fact of the matter is that there is no factual reason why it wouldn't be okay (if someone doesn't believe in the bible). The most common reason is, "Eww... That's gross." Which quite frankly, isn't a reason at all.
All the two siblings are doing is having sex... that's all. In the case, that I'm am referring to, they aren't hurting anybody intentionally and are minding their own business.
I personally, still cringe thinking about it and it will take sometime for me to feel comfortable with it. However, if someone I knew was to admit to me about having sex with one of his/her siblings. Or if I found that two siblings were in a relationship then I'd have to accept them. I'd have to recognize within myself that there is no harm being done.
That is unless they plan on having children. In fact, when it get's up to that point, the couple really needs to reflect... Big time.
That is the line that shouldn't be crossed. They could potentially put their kids through hell.
The first and foremost reason why it'd be wrong is because the couple is related. Therefore, they have very similar genes. Their mom and dad gave them both 23 chromosomes. When they have kids, they would be doing the same thing. But since they have the same parents, they both share 50 percent of the same genes. Two genes can pair up with each other. Maybe some that aren't so good, like diseases that aren't effecting the couple because they are recessive. However, if there are multiple of them they will become dominant and turn into birth defects. Meaning, the kids could die early, have health problems or become mentally retarded.
Not saying that it's bad to have disabilities, not saying that someone can't be happy with them either. However, it does make life more difficult so if it's apparent that something like that has a high probability then a parent should want his/her kids to be healthy. Then, try to avoid it.
The other reason why siblings shouldn't have kids is because it makes them higher targets for bullies.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me... Is a lie.
It does hurt and can help drive some people into depression and if other kids find out that their parents are siblings, then, a lot of words will be thrown at them.
The couple can chose to defy against society and deal with all that comes with it. However...
They shouldn't make their kids do it.
Some may argue that gays do it by adopting or that interracial couples do it by conceiving. However, those two issues are much less taboo than incest. Anyone can get bullied, but in this day of age, incest is just way too looked down upon to just allow the kid to go through that.
Now like I said before, I will accept the people around me who have... Sex with their siblings, but here's why I don't agree with it.
So, the way I see it, there are three types of relationships that I think are equally important. Family, friends and sexual partners. And the thing about family is that... It's forever.
When most of us break up with someone who we never want to see again, it's manageable. However, it is really hard to avoid a sibling and why would we want to?
We love them... Or at least most of us do. They have been around us throughout our childhood. Even after the break up, if both parties decide they don't want to be together. They will still want to see each other, and that can make things difficult.
What I am also worried about is parents having sex with their kids.
The same exact argument can be made and that's something I can not learn to accept. Never. I find it to be depraved.
A kid online who claimed to be gay had sex with his sister one day when he caught her masturbating. Okay...
But then he starts talking about how his mother and father were going through a divorce because the dad was gay as well. He and his dad had sex then his uncle catches them and joined.
It was way too much for me to handle. A dad having sex with one of his kids is a big violation for me.
The love that a dad has for his child shouldn't be sexual. He should protect his child, teach him morals, punish her, award him, disciplined her. You know, be his dad, not her partner.
A mom and dad's role in a child's life is very important. What parents do to their children will effect them for the rest of their lives.
Sigmund Freud, a famous psychologist said something I didn't understand at first. It's called the oedipus complex. He said that we all secretly want to have a sexual relationship with our opposite sex parent and are secretly envious of the other one. I thought it was disgusting, but then someone told me what it actually meant. (doesn't apply to gays).
It's trying to say that the people that we will be attracted to within our lifetimes are based on the parent of the opposite sex. If someone is actually having sex with that parent, the results can be sickening.
A parent has to be "controlling" in order to teach us what is right and what is wrong. However, a husband or a wife shouldn't. Both of them should make decisions together, it's healthier that way.
And to continue on, if a relationship between a parent and child can be sexual then what relationship can't?
Majority of his relationships will be about sex and if not then none of them will be. Having those kind of relationships all the time is not good. It could be harder to learn how to love efficiently. She could expect unrealistic things from her partners. He can get stuck in relationships that involve a dominating partner and mental issues can come to play as well. Such as depression, bipolar disorder, sociopathy, psychopathy, PTSD and more.
We can't help our thoughts... I mean let's get real... We can't. That's not the part that can cause mental illness. The part is the sex. It's not always the case, but most of the time... It is. Parent-child sex isn't healthy at all.
Call me annoying, call me judgmental, call me inconsistent, but don't call me dishonest. I can accept many things. I can accept incest in terms of cousins, siblings and maybe even uncles/aunts/nephews/nieces. However, I can't accept sex between a parent and a child... It's too much. And my mind simply can't wrap itself around the concept.
Now rewinding back to my experience between my siblings... That was when I was 7, my brother 11 and my little sister was 5. We were pretty young. However, even before then, another sexual interaction happened. I was 5, my brother 8, my little sister 3 and another participant was involved, my older sister who was 12. All the girls humping Teddy bears and my older brother cut a hole in one and the rest is self explanatory. It was all experimentation and that's where most of the statistics of sexual relations between siblings are coming from.
It's a minority that's actually in freaking love with their sibling. Most of the time, It's simply just a bunch of curiosity that drives the siblings into having sex with each other or doing other sexual things.
My mom said that an incident happened with one of her cousins which is much more common than siblings. She explained to me that it was sexual curiosity... I believe her. It's not a secret why it'd be happening and I genuinely believe that it happens all the time. The studies that explain how common incest is are super unreliable. I mean it is illegal and most people don't want to admit to something that is not only portrayed as something that is gross... But also a crime.
Do I think it should be illegal?
Absolutely not.
The sexual interactions that happen with siblings are most problematic psychologically. Not because of what they have done, but because it feels like they have blood all over their hands. They feel guilty for doing something that is relatively normal.
Despite how I feel about incest, what these kids need to understand is that it is... Okay. It's part of growing up and most likely with time, the two will be married with two kids... Not with each other, but with other people. And their incident will be a thing of the past.
And even if it doesn't work out that way, even if they end up falling in love. That is okay as well. They will go through a lot of obstacles and will have to worry about a lot of people. However, if all of that is worth it... I say go for it.
Now, as I end, I'd like to say that I am not glorifying incest nor am I degrading it. But I do think that I am making sense of it as I am making this blog post.
Am I contradicting myself, telling siblings to go for it while telling parents and their offspring not to?
Maybe.
But I'd like to think that I'm not.
My concerns are real and my feelings are okay.
I do think that there's many things to think about. For anyone. I have decided to challenge my beliefs, I think that you all should as well.
I'd also like to say that if anything I have said has upset someone, I'm sorry.
Bests to all of you.
